Forever

Forever and Always... for all Eternity.. and the next day.

Saturday, June 30, 2012

And I thought Chess was hard...

A whole week later!! Amazing, right!? haha ah this week has been absolutely insane... and honestly this is the first time I've actually been happy all week! Rough week :/ see... Quick story about my week. Monday I applied for this job cause I needed money. Tuesday I had a job interview and got accepted. Wednesday I had job training in SLC, hated it. Thursday had job training in SLC, didn't mind it, then had Taco Maker work right after. Friday I had Taco Maker, then job training... cried all the way home. I was so messed up and confused on what I was supposed to do and the whole job just felt awful. I really got sick and stressed about it! It was this marketing company and really the program was great, the product was amazing and everything about it was too good to be true. I could make thousands of dollars easy. But I didn't want to sacrifice the people I loved... to trick them into buying this stuff! I just couldn't do it. So Friday night, I quit. and today I feel incredible :)
Really who knew that two years could be so hard? SO much happens in two years! I mean I feel like a whole different person just after this week. Also lately I've been kinda down and I've figured it's because I'm really in a kinda awkward spot right now. I'm between lives!! I'm kinda away from my old and comfortable life that I'm used to with high school, living at home, hanging with my friends whenever I want... but I'm not quite into my new life with a new ward, new friends and a new home. So I'm really in this nothingness gap that is quite uncomfortable and lonely to be in! and then on top of that, my grandma isn't doing so great. She's been sick with Cancer for a bit now but this week she's just gotten worse and worse... and with all this going on... I wish I had Randy to talk to! I really wanted to call him up SO many times this week... but I couldn't. and that's probably what made me cry the most, just the fact that I'm over here hurting and I can't talk to him. It's a learning and growing experience.. so I've really been trying to see the growing part of all this. And I think what I have gotten is... that no matter how lonely I feel, how abandoned and empty... and completely loss I think I am...I have always seen my Savior there for me. Really like on my down days I'll look... somewhere in my head haha and see if I have any friends there for me.. and try to figure out why I feel so alone.. and I always have this image of my Savior there. Standing there for me... with his arms out for me. It's such an incredible comfort to know that I will never ever be alone. I will always have my Savior. and then after I see that my Savior is there for me, I see that... Randy really is there for me. He's serving... but he's there for me. and then I get humbled and see all my family and friends and ah it's incredible. Life isn't so bad :) MAIL'S HERE!!!

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